Pearls and Lace, My Favorites!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Old, Crusty, Vintage Bottles

The whole town came our for the Fair.  Buggies were pulled by foamy horses, sweat soaked bodies were everywhere.  People were milling around the animals, men talking and spittin'.  Women in their long dresses were shooing children away from their sides while they fanned their hot faces.
As the townspeople gathered for a grand day of sack races, horse races and leg races, wily old men snuck in unawares to sell their potions and lotions. 
With a cantakerous yell at the local children hububbing around his wagon, he raises his arms and starts shouting:  "Step up here ladies and gentlemen and listen to me while I tell you about the finest stomach medicine the world has ever seen!"  He waits while the ladies step forward, some assisted by their husbands.  Men folk of all ages young to old saunter over to the old man and try to hear what he says without seeming to be interested.  Many of them are looking at the crowd forming to see which ladies are alone, and possibly eligible for later 'howdy's'.
"I have here a bottle of the best medicine that has ever been produced to help you get rid of the stomach gall!"  The little old man smiles big and holds up his finest most beautiful bottle of "Swamp Root". 
"Yes gentlemen, this elixer is guaranteed to make the stomach settle with just one swig!"
Proudly, the little man lifts the bottle with both hands to show it off to its best advantage in the sunlight.
"Ladies, just one spoonful of this special medicine will cure any upset stomach, take away any headache, and make your body strong and healthy.  Formulated my Dr. Kilmer himself to be just what the Doctor ordered".

The crowd presses in closer to see the bottles lined up in front of the old man.  One old geezer in the audience steps up closer and says, "How do we know it really works?" 
"Well", says the old man, "I've tried it!  I've used it for what ailed me and I'm an example here standin' in front of you all that can swear, excuse me ladies, promise as to the medicinal benefits of this fine elixir."
The sweat starts to form under his brown felt hat, and his whiskers start to itch.
He knows it's just a matter of moments before the first taker will step up.

"This wonderful medicine can be yours for just a small price.  Just think ladies and gentlemen, a bottle of the world's finest medicine at your own fingertips day and night for when your family needs it.  No more calls to the Doctor in the middle of the night.  No more saddling the horse in the dark.  Just one bottle of this on the shelf and you can be instantly healed!"
The old man backs up a smidge from the edge of the crowd and waits...just a moment later a voice from the side of the crowd says, "Well, I guess I'd like to have me here one of them thar bottles of that med'cine.  How much it cost??"

The crowd starts to press closer and bottles start selling.  The old man is grinning from ear to ear, telling just the exact doses for each ailment.  The crowd slowly starts to clear and the bottles left in front of the old man dwindle.  Just a few more and he can be off to another town, another fair, another dollar in coins to put in his pocket.  But between towns, the little old man has to make up some more 'medicine'.

I love making up silly stories like that when I see old fun stuff!!  Hope y'all enjoyed it.  I hope you also enjoy the pictures of the actual best-selling bottle of literal 'Swamp Root' I have on hand here!  It could be for sale soon....you just never know!!!!
Have a blessed week and please come by on Thursday and join me for Pearls and Lace Thursday!

I'm joining these Monday parties below. Please go by and check them out!!

Today's Thrifty Treasures at

Blue Monday at

Show Off Your Cottage Monday at


afistfullofweeds* said...

That was so fun, as I was reading, I put myself in the story!! I Love that!!

SmilingSally said...

You've brought us a bit of blue history, Doni.

Happy Blue Monday! Check out my book giveaway.

Jacalyn @ rmebathproducts.com said...

That sure was a hoot and no doubt how it happened!!!! Those bottles are gorgeous!!!! Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving such a heart felt comment!


Jacalyn @ rmebathproducts.com said...

Oh and Doni I tried to email you but I couldn't find a link!


Dena E's Blog said...

What a FUN read on this BLUE Monday Sweetie.. Just had to stop by ...LOVE the wee Lil Doxie..
You have the best foundation there can be Doni!!! Awesome is He ,,,The KING of Kings..
May God's blessings be all over you and yours in this new week~~~Hugs Dena

Barbara Jean said...

Love the bottles and the story.
People do like stories and often want to know the background of something at my little store. so i make one up, in a way they know i am making it up. so, fun for all.

glad i found your blog via smilng sally.


barbara jean

Donna (Timeless Settings) said...

Don't you just love old bottles? I found a great pale purple one the other day that I love!


Coralie Cederna Johnson said...

So many beautiful treasures to share on this lovely blog of yours! I just had to join to follow! Everything is stunning!


Related Posts with Thumbnails

Some of my very favorite posts: